The young tot’s mum went to the manager s of the setting after her son had been bitten on 3 different occasions over a 6 month period. After bite marks appeared for a third time, she went to the nursery with her mother to discuss the problem. It was at this point that she said:
“If you don't do anything about this, I will get Ofsted involved.”
Later the same week, she received a letter which said her son was no longer allowed to attend the nursery, with the letter stating that they had a “zero tolerance approach to threats and intimidation”.
The letter from the nursery owner stated:
“This is not a decision that I have taken lightly, but [I] feel that our relationship is irreparable.
“Please do not attempt to attend the nursery at any point, my decision is final.”
Parents’ concern
Parents of the tot say he was very settled in the nursery, which he had been attending since May, and was fond of those that cared for him.
Miss Morris, the young boy’s mum - who has stated that she did not approach the situation with any aggression - said:
“He's only been at the nursery since May this year and in that time he's been bitten three times.
“He was bitten twice in six days in August and on the first occasion, staff didn't even phone me up to tell me - I only found out when I picked him up.
“I am hurt that now my innocent son's routine will be in uproar as he was very happy and settled with the staff in his room.
“I feel I have been unfairly treated because they are unable to control another child's behaviour.”
Two sides
Mrs Green, owner of the nursery, spoke to a local newspaper saying:
“We do not exclude a family for nothing and we welcome parents' feedback to help us improve and deal with things to the best of our ability.
“We don't do this lightly. We go through the correct channels and have worked with Ofsted in this case.
“We have found it necessary to put a zero tolerance approach in place with regard to threats and aggression.”
Do you think the situation was handled in the correct manner? Could both parties have worked together to come to a better conclusion?
Hi i read your story, and iam fully in support of your case. Its a shame that you have been treated like this, when the fault is infact someone else’s child. the child that committed these assaults on your little one should have been expelled from the nursery as that just is not normal behaviour. i dont understand these nurseries and schools, when you go with a concern or a complaint they just want to fob you off coz they dont want their reputation marked, or they simply just dont want to deal with it. I have a 9 yr old who had a problem with another pupil bullying her and a similar situation happened with me when i went up to complain they didnt like it and never even took action!They dont care for the kids, its all about money and bussiness in the end, and i think its dam right discusting that where children are concerned they show no compassion. iam weary about sending my youngest now to nursery when the competence of the staff nursery, who obviously do not monitor other childrens odd behaviour. Good luck!
I read your story and just I want to say that, first of all, parents should be learned about how to control on their aggressive behavior, then after they should learn your children about behaviors.
It is a shame that this Toddler was excluded due to his parents’ attitude but, without knowing the full details, it is impossible to judge whether the Nursery was right in excluding the Toddler.
Ofsted will not normall become involved in a case of biting (however frequently it happens) unless they feel that the Nursery staff are not supervising the children adequately – being understaffed for example. It appears, from the scant information here, that Ofsted have not got a problem with this?
We all have ‘serial biters’ now and again and it is not possible to prevent these incidents throughout the day! ‘Tracking’ a serial biter for a couple of weeks is advisable in order to find out what causes the child to bite – but 3 bites over a 6 month period, in my estimation, does not equal a ‘serial’ biter!
It is also not neccessary, or advisable, to telephone a parent every time a child has been bitten or otherwise hurt – as long as the incident is recorded and the parent asked to sign the report at the end of the day, that should be enough. The only time parents need to be telephoned is if the Nursery/Childminder believes that the injury is such that the child needs to be taken to casualty, or to see their GP.
The only excuse, that I can see, for expelling a child (which would actually be expelling the parent/s rather than the child) is if the parents were not willing to listen to reason and/or became aggressive towards the staff.
Lots of children bite but there is usually a reason for this – jealousy over a toy, problems at home, being unsettled, etc – and a ‘plan’ is usually put in place by the Childcarers to help them to stop, which is shared with the parents of the biter, and the parents of the bitten!
In over 30 years of working in childcare I have never felt tempted to ‘expel’ even the worst of biters – and I have taken on children from other settings whose parents were asked to remove them because the staff did not know how to, or want to, handle this issue!
Working closely ‘in partnership’ with all of the parents involved is very important but, if any particular setting has parents who consistantly fail to work with them, or understand that any child could become a ‘biter’, or threaten them, I can understand that the setting may have to give those parents an ultimatum – ‘Work with us on this issue or choose to take your child elsewhere’ – rather than expelling the biter (and his parents), who also need and deserves their support and help. I suspect that this may be the true situation here, and that the parents of the bitten child expected the biter to be expelled – which is absolutely NOT going to happen in a good setting.