Emotional literacy, emotional intelligence or EQ (Emotional Quotient), is the ability to recognise, understand, express and manage emotions in ourselves and in others. For young children, this skill underpins everything from forming friendships and coping with change, to learning effectively and developing resilience.
Supporting emotional literacy in early years is not about eliminating difficult emotions or expecting children to be calm at all times. It is about helping them make sense of what they feel, giving them language for their emotions, and modelling healthy ways to respond in more challenging situations.
What is emotional literacy?
Emotional literacy involves several interconnected skills:
- Recognising emotions in ourselves and others
- Naming and talking about our feelings
- Understanding that emotions change and are influenced by experiences
- Learning strategies to manage strong feelings and emotions safely
- Developing empathy and emotional awareness
These skills develop over time. It’s not like learning that 2 + 2 = 4. For young children, emotional literacy develops gradually through repeated experiences with trusted adults. Babies and toddlers begin by co-regulating with adults, relying on caregivers to soothe, reassure and interpret their emotions. As children grow, they start to internalise these skills and use them more independently. But this development is shaped by the emotional environment of the home, and the early years setting, as well as by the adults who inhabit or work within it.
Why emotional literacy matters in early years
Children who are supported to develop emotional literacy are more likely to:
- Form positive relationships with peers and adults
- Cope with frustration, disappointment and change
- Engage more fully in learning experiences
- Develop confidence and a positive sense of self
- Show empathy and consideration for others
Research consistently links strong emotional development with better long-term outcomes, including improved mental wellbeing, stronger social skills and greater readiness for school.
From a professional perspective, emotional literacy also aligns closely with the Early Years Foundation Stage (EYFS), and regulatory bodies will look for evidence that children feel safe, secure and emotionally supported, and that practitioners understand how children learn to manage their feelings over time.
Building emotional literacy through everyday practice
Developing emotional literacy does not require expensive resources or separate lessons. It should be embedded into the everyday rhythm of the setting. There are many ways to do this, but here are some of the main ones:
1. Naming feelings
One of the simplest and most effective strategies is to name emotions in the moment.
Instead of saying, “Stop crying” or “You’ll be fine,” practitioners can say:
- “I can see you’re feeling sad because Daddy has just left”
- “It looks like you’re frustrated because the blocks fell down”
This helps children link physical sensations and behaviours to clear emotional language. Over time, they begin to use these words themselves. Try to include a wide range of emotions, not just ‘happy’ and ‘sad’ to build vocabulary and accuracy. Words such as ‘excited’, ‘worried’, ‘disappointed’, ‘proud’ and ‘overwhelmed’ help children build a richer emotional vocabulary.
2. Normalising all emotions
Children quickly learn whether certain emotions are acceptable or not. If feelings like anger, fear or sadness are consistently discouraged or frowned upon, children may begin to suppress or act out these feelings instead of being allowed to fully experience them and move on.
Practitioners can normalise emotions by separating feelings people have from a challenging behaviour they may exhibit:
- “It’s okay to feel angry. But it’s not okay to hurt someone”
- “You’re allowed to feel upset. Let’s find a way to help you feel better”
This approach teaches children that their emotions are valid, and that their behaviour can be guided and supported.
3. Using stories and play to explore emotional literacy
Stories are powerful tools for emotional learning. Books that explore characters’ feelings help children recognise emotions in others and reflect on their own experiences. You can use stories to open conversations about emotions. During storytime, practitioners can ask open questions such as:
- “How do you think that character feels?”
- “What might help them right now?”
- “Have you ever felt like that?”
Role play and small-world play also provide safe spaces for children to express emotions indirectly. A child who struggles to verbalise feelings may act them out through toys or imaginative scenarios.
4. Supporting emotional regulation
Young children are still learning how to manage strong emotions. It’s one thing for them to label their emotions but expecting them to self-regulate without support can lead to unrealistic expectations and unnecessary stress.
Practical strategies include:
- Quiet, cosy spaces where children can calm down
- Breathing exercises or calming routines
- Visual emotion charts to help children identify feelings
- Consistent, predictable routines that provide emotional security
Over time, these tools help children move from co-regulation with adults to greater independence.
The role of practitioners’ own emotional literacy
Children learn as much from what adults do as what they say. Practitioners who are emotionally aware, reflective and regulated themselves create environments where emotional literacy can flourish. Settings that acknowledge this and spend time and energy developing their staff’s emotional literacy will have an advantage.
Developing emotional literacy in adults includes:
- Recognising personal emotional triggers
- Reflecting on responses to challenging behaviour
- Managing stress and emotional overload
- Modelling calm, respectful communication
This is particularly important in high-pressure environments where staff may be tired, emotionally stretched or where the setting is understaffed. A practitioner who feels supported and emotionally regulated is better able to support children effectively.
Create a culture where emotions can be discussed openly and provide reflective supervision and peer support. Encouraging professional development around wellbeing and emotional health will help staff to present a consistent and professional manner at all times.
Creating an emotionally literate setting
An emotionally literate setting is not one where children never cry or become upset, but it is one where emotions are noticed and valued, named and supported consistently. This includes using shared language around feelings across the staff team and using consistent responses to emotional behaviour – no “naughty children”. Strong relationships built on trust should be promoted, and there will be an understand that emotional safety sits alongside academic learning. When children feel emotionally understood, they are more likely to explore, learn and connect with others. By naming feelings and nurturing emotional awareness, practitioners are not only supporting children’s well-being in the moment but laying foundations that will last a lifetime.
References and further information
Emotional Security
Education Endowment Foundation – social and emotional learning
Early years wellbeing and self-regulation resources – Anna Freud Centre
Early Intervention Foundation: Social and emotional development in the early years.
Simply Psychology: Emotional Intelligence
