Why the key person approach is so powerful
The key person system is one of the most effective ways to make sure children experience that consistent emotional connection, especially in busy settings. Ofsted’s inspection guidance explicitly links a well-established key person system with secure attachments, well-being and independence.
A strong key person approach supports:
- Settling in and separation – children cope better when one adult becomes their secure base, especially when separating from parents for the first time
- Emotional regulation – children ‘borrow’ calm from adults before they can manage their feelings alone
- Communication and language – children talk more when they feel safe and understood
- Behaviour and boundaries – children respond best to adults who are consistent and know them well
- Partnership with parents – families build trust faster when communication has a familiar anchor and they feel that they are heard and understood
It is also particularly important for babies and younger children, where developing secure attachments, and co-regulation are at the centre of development.
What do we mean by “positive relationships?”
A positive relationship in early years is not about being constantly cheerful or always permissive. It is about being emotionally available, responsive and consistent. Children need adults who notice them, understand them, and can hold appropriate boundaries kindly and with empathy.
Positive relationships are built through everyday moments, such as:
- A warm greeting at the door
- Getting down to the child’s level, making eye contact and listening properly
- Following their interests in play
- Comforting them calmly when they are overwhelmed
- Helping them repair friendships after conflict
- Celebrating their small wins with genuine delight
These interactions may look simple, but they shape the way children see themselves and the world. Think of the difference between Miss Honey and Miss Trunchball in the book, “Matilda”. They both have and a lasting effect on the children, but only one is positive.
The challenges: staffing pressures and recruitment difficulties
Of course, none of this happens in a vacuum, and in reality, many settings are currently managing real workforce strain, including recruitment difficulties, cover challenges, and high staff turnovers. A recent NDNA staffing sustainability survey reported that around seven in ten providers (69.8%) did not have sufficient staff to operate at maximum capacity, with an average of 4.2 FTE vacancies per setting. This context matters, because consistency is harder to protect when teams are stretched. There is also national attention on the childcare workforce reflecting ongoing concerns about recruitment, retention and the capacity of the sector. However, the fact remains; even when staffing is tight, relationships still matter - maybe, even more. So, the question becomes: how do settings protect positive relationships and the key person approach when they are under pressure?
How to strengthen key person relationships in real settings
With the best will in the world, we all get sick sometimes, and staffing pressures can mount. Here are a few ideas to help you establish and strengthen positive relationships, even when difficulties arise.
1. Protect key moments of connection
Even in a busy day, children need predictable emotional 'touchpoints' with their key person:
- A warm welcome and handover
- A check-in during free play
- Comfort during upsets
- A consistent goodbye
If staffing changes disrupt the day, prioritise these moments as they have a disproportionate impact on the child.
2. Make “relationship-based practice” the whole team’s job
A key person is central, but children also benefit from a wider ‘web of safety and security’. Aim for:
- A buddy key person (secondary attachment figure) who knows the child well
- Shared notes so staff can use consistent language and approaches
- Joint responsibility for routines so children feel held even if a key person is off
This is especially helpful when rotas are complex.
3. Use consistent emotional language - positive relationships
Children thrive when adults speak about feelings and behaviour in consistent ways. Agree common approaches to language within your team and use them consistently. This supports children’s emotional literacy and helps staff feel more confident and aligned.
4. Keep parent partnerships simple and steady
In pressured settings, communication can slip into rushed exchanges. Helpful approaches include:
- A short daily touchpoint (even 30 seconds) reporting one positive observation
- A weekly “one thing I noticed” message for children who need extra reassurance
- A clear handover plan if and when staffing changes occur
5. Use observationsto deepen connection, not just track learning
Observations are often seen as ‘paperwork’, but they can be, and should be, relationship-building tools as well as insights on the child’s development and progress. When practitioners notice and respond to a child’s interests, schemas, comforts and triggers, children feel more understood and are more likely to receive the support they need.
6. Support practitioner well-being and emotional capacity - positive relationships
All relationships require emotional energy, and practitioner relationships are no different. When practitioners are exhausted, it becomes harder to stay calm, patient and responsive. That is not a personal failing. It is reality. Best practice to support the well-being of staff includes:
- Protected breaks wherever possible
- Reflective supervision and check-ins
- A team culture where asking for help is normal and supported
- Practical workload reviews to reduce unnecessary pressure
Strong relationships with children start with supported adults, so make sure you are supporting all staff effectively, so they can continue to support the children in your care. In early years, positive relationships are not a soft option. They are the engine room of well-being and belonging. Even in challenging conditions, the focus remains the same: children learn best when they feel safe, seen and valued. And that begins with practitioners.
References:
Creative role play and relationships Help for early years providers: Relationships
EYFS statutory framework NDNA – Workforce crisis demands urgent action before further childcare expansion
Parliamentary Research Briefing: Childcare workforce in England
