Supporting emotional regulation in early years settings is one of the most meaningful things a practitioner can do – and it starts with understanding what children are really communicating. Big emotions are a natural part of early childhood. Young children are still learning how to understand, express and manage their feelings, often communicating them through their actions rather than words.
A child who pushes another child may be feeling overwhelmed. A child who refuses to participate may be anxious about something new. A child who appears angry may be struggling to communicate their needs.
This is when we need to pause and consider what a child may be trying to communicate.
When we shift our perspective in this way, we move from managing behaviour to supporting emotional development.
Behaviour is Communication
Children’s brains are still developing rapidly during the early years. The parts of the brain responsible for self-regulation, impulse control and emotional management are not yet fully developed. As a result, children often communicate their feelings through their actions rather than words.
This is particularly important to remember for children with additional needs (SEND) and children learning English as an Additional Language (EAL), who may face additional challenges communicating their thoughts, feelings and needs.
When we view behaviour as communication, it helps us understand what support a child may need.
Supporting Emotional Regulation in Early Years Through Co-Regulation and Movement
Self-regulation is often seen as an important goal in early childhood, but before children can manage their emotions independently, they first need to experience co-regulation.
Co-regulation occurs when a trusted adult helps a child manage their emotions, behaviour and responses. Through repeated experiences of feeling safe, understood and supported, children gradually develop the skills they will eventually use for themselves.
In other words, children learn to regulate through being regulated.
This is particularly important during moments of distress. When a child is overwhelmed, frustrated or anxious, they are often unable to access the thinking skills needed to calm themselves independently. At these times, expecting self-regulation may be unrealistic.
Instead, practitioners can provide calm, responsive support by acknowledging feelings, staying emotionally available and offering strategies that help the child feel safe.
Movement can be a particularly effective co-regulation tool. Throughout my career, I have seen how children often express and process emotions through movement long before they have the language to explain how they are feeling. During my time working in a SEND school, one child would often use a small spiky sensory ball, rolling it up and down his leg when he became overwhelmed. The repetitive sensory feedback helped him feel calmer and more in control. Initially, this strategy was introduced and modelled by adults, but over time, he learned to recognise when he needed support and began using it independently to help regulate his emotions and sensory responses.
This illustrates how co-regulation supports the development of self-regulation. Adults help children discover strategies that work for them, and with repeated practice, those strategies gradually become tools they can use independently.
Rather than expecting an upset child to sit still and talk, practitioners might invite them to:
- Take a walk together outdoors.
- March, stomp, dance, jump or tiptoe around the room.
- Blow bubbles or feathers across the room.
- Move like different animals through a role-play adventure.
These shared movement experiences help release physical tension, reduce stress and create opportunities for connection. The adult is not simply directing the activity but joining the child, providing the calm presence and support they need.
Over time, children begin to internalise these experiences. The movement strategies that were once supported through co-regulation gradually become tools they can choose and use independently as their self-regulation skills develop.
Why Movement Matters for Emotional Regulation in Early Years
Children experience emotions with their whole bodies. When adults feel stressed, they might take a walk, exercise or talk things through. Young children often rely on movement to help them process and regulate their emotions because they may not yet have the language to express how they are feeling. Research highlights the connection between physical movement and emotional well-being.
For some children, particularly those with sensory processing differences, movement is not simply enjoyable; it is essential.
The Power of Imaginative Play for Processing Big Feelings
Imaginative play offers children a unique opportunity to explore emotions in a safe and manageable way.
Through role-play, children can experiment with different situations, feelings and perspectives. They can become brave explorers, caring vets, superheroes, astronauts or firefighters.
Through stories and imaginative adventures, children can explore challenges, solve problems, and experience emotions in a safe and supported way.
During my work leading creative role-play sessions with primary-aged children, I witnessed groups of children re-enacting a major news event that had caused considerable anxiety within the school community. Through role-play, they explored what had happened, asked questions and expressed feelings that they struggled to put into words. What appeared to be simple play was an important process of understanding and emotional processing. Through play, children are often working through experiences that matter deeply to them.
Creating an Emotionally Supportive Early Years Environment
The environment also plays an important role in children’s emotional wellbeing.
Practitioners can support regulation by considering:
- Quiet spaces where children can retreat when overwhelmed.
- Visual timetables to reduce anxiety around transitions.
- Consistent routines that provide security.
- Opportunities for active play throughout the day.
- Resources that encourage emotional literacy, such as stories, puppets and role-play props.
Small adjustments can have a significant impact on how safe and supported children feel.
Looking Beyond the Behaviour: Emotional Regulation as an Early Years Priority
Emotionally challenging behaviour can be difficult for adults as well as children. However, when we pause to look beneath the behaviour, we often discover a child who is communicating an unmet need, seeking connection or struggling with emotions they do not yet understand.
By providing opportunities for movement, imaginative play and supportive relationships, practitioners can help children develop the skills they need to recognise, express and manage their feelings. When children are given opportunities to move, imagine and explore, they are often better able to make sense of their emotions and build the confidence needed to navigate new experiences.
When we focus on the child behind the behaviour, we create environments where every child feels seen, heard and valued, and where big feelings become opportunities for growth, connection and learning
Turn "big feelings" into teachable moments. Supporting co-regulation, SEND and EAL learners takes a real understanding of child development. The Level 3 SEND Coordinator Award helps your team look beyond behaviour to the child. Explore our courses or call 0800 002 9242.
Question for our readers: When a child in your care shows a big feeling through their behaviour, what helps you pause and read what they are really communicating? We would love to hear the approaches that work for you in the comments below!
Discover more: About Gina Bale
Other Articles:
The Whole Child in Motion: Why Holistic Learning Begins with Movement, Connection and Play
The Social Power of Play
Playful STEM: Spark Creativity in Early Years
The importance of not having a narrow view of imagination and authentic learning
What is Creativity in Early Childhood? Definitions & Real-World Examples
