Transitions in Early Years: Supporting Children When the Honeymoon Period Ends (Part 2)
Relational Strategies to Secure Children’s Well-being
We can often see when a child is experiencing a delayed transition wobble through their behaviour: behaviour is how children communicate best, so we need to be able to tune into these behaviours, even those that are unexpected or challenging, because this is the child’s way of telling us that something is wrong for them. This is where the Key Person plays a vital role.
Greetings and Check-ins
Taking the time to greet the child on entry, spending snippets of their day being close, joining in with their play or reading a story together- all without any expectations being put on the child: no questioning or directing helps the child to feel reassured by your presence and its consistency amidst the changes and increased cognitive load.
Transitional Objects
To bridge the gap between the setting and home, children can bring in comfort items that keep them tethered to their secure people and places. These transitional objects offer a sense of reassurance throughout the day. For instance, a child might carry a family photo, a mother's hair scrunchie, or a glasses cloth scented with a parent's perfume. Alternatively, a departing adult could entrust the child with a small item to safeguard until pick-up, such as a lip balm from their bag. Keeping this important item safe in their pocket allows the child to feel it whenever they need comfort, reinforcing their confidence and the trust shared with their primary caregiver.
Buddy Building
Rather than expecting large group engagement, create opportunities for two children to engage in play opportunities based on shared interest and fascinations. Have a small world set up and invite two children to join you; place an activity away from traffic and with two chairs for an intimate interaction. Grow each child’s sense of belonging, one buddy at a time.
Visual Support
Using alternative modes of communication can support babies and children at any stage of development. Showing the baby their nappy bag or nappy before asking them if you can change them helps them to anticipate what you are intending, even if they have yet to understand the words you are using. A visual routine at the child’s level supports an understanding of the activities the child will be engaging in and what comes next. A photo wall with pictures representing every child in the room is a brilliant way of supporting their sense of belonging.
Connection Before Correction
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is very clear that a distressed or dysregulated child is unable to engage in higher-level cognitive functions, such as learning and social engagement, until their most basic needs of safety have been met.
When a child’s emotions flare, the adult role is to control, calm, and contain.
Creating Calm
Providing the right environment is key; areas should already be set up to support a range of sensory needs, cosy areas in low-noise spaces offering sensory grounding resources, like things to squeeze, lavender-scented cushions or audios of waterfalls or nature.
Frustration Station
For some children, having a designated area to go to and release energy is vital for supporting them to develop their self-regulation skills. This could be an area of bubble wrap taped to the floor that they can jump or stamp on. Or a corner with a target on the wall or a basket on the floor to throw beanbags at or into. Having these spaces set up and safely out of passing traffic can provide a means to release strong emotions acceptably.
The Natural World and Heavy Work
Getting a child outside immediately changes everything: the visual stimulation is different, the audio input is significantly improved, and the feeling of the weather (rain, wind, sunshine) on a child’s face all have an impact. Couple this with either of the above strategies or by providing areas for heavy work - wheelbarrows to load up with logs or bricks, buckets on hoists and pulleys to lift and transport wet sand in.
Low Language
Your language should be low-demanding; if a child is showing distress, it may be appropriate to acknowledge and label their emotions, “I can see you are angry/sad/worried, that's OK, and I’m here”.
At the core of every approach is minimising your input and keeping your communication strictly to what is essential at that precise time. If the child has already demonstrated that they’re dysregulated, any attempts to find out what happened (or demand apologies) should be put on hold until the child is calm and back in control. Your main focus right now must be addressing the child's immediate needs.
The Triangle of Trust
These delayed wobbles will likely be noticeable to families too, potentially happening while initial communication exchanges start to diminish.
Managing Parents’ Emotions
Just like every child, every family member is unique too. For some parents and carers, these transitions will have created deeply emotional responses for them to deal with alongside their child’s. Sometimes settling the parents is as important as settling the child! Keep the communication going, reshare photos or video footage of their child’s day to provide visual reassurance that their child is settling. Ask how they are!
Shift the Narrative
Replace “they ate all of their lunch” type exchanges with, how are mornings before drop-offs for you? Remember, parents may not have considered any changes until this point, so allowing them to reflect can hold vital information.
Ready to Thrive
A child will not bloom until they feel safe; this must be our fundamental goal in supporting smooth transitions. Way before baseline assessments and next steps can take place, we must prioritise getting to know the unique child and ensuring their psychological safety.
Transitions are not a checklist item to tick off at the end of September; they’re a continuous loop of attunement, reflection, and connection. By remaining sensitive to the subtle emotional shifts that occur weeks or months after a move, we ensure that every unique child, no matter when or how they join us, feels safe, seen, and ready to thrive.
Join the Conversation
Have you set up a “frustration station” or used a transitional object with a child who was struggling weeks after starting? Tell us how it went in the comments below, we’d love to hear your experience!
How Parenta Can Help
Supporting children through delayed transition wobbles takes a confident, well-trained team. Our government-funded childcare courses include units on child development, attachment and behaviour, giving your staff the practical grounding they need to recognise and respond to these subtle emotional shifts.
Looking for more early years insight like this? Head over to the Parenta blog for new articles and resources added regularly.
Ready to Get Started?
Want to build your team’s confidence in supporting transitions in early years? Get in touch with our friendly team on 0800 002 9242, or explore our government-funded childcare courses today.
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